I need to put dots in my life

Last Song Syndrome:
Why do birds fall down from the sky everytime you walk by...
Just like me, they long to be close to you.

Yup. The Carpenters pa rin

But now listening to:
Charmed Life-Leigh Nash

That's because I just watched "Uptown Girls" on dvd.

^^^

I knew there was something wrong with this day the moment I woke up.

It wasn't bright and shiny. I tried thinking of the faces that will soon greet me in school later on. Perked up a little bit, pero wala padin eh.

I just felt like something was wrong. Something was missing.

On the way to school, I kept on changing the songs in my phone. Which is uncommon, because I usually finish the song before changing to the next track. Ngayon wala pang kalahati kroo na kagad. It just felt different.

The feeling became stronger during the first period. Comski1 time. I couldn't think properly. And then the feeling grew when the prof started to give out out test papers..My grade was fine. Fine doesn't mean excellent. Well, let's just say it's really not the kind of grade that I usually got way back when I was in IS. But I can deal with that.

Okay. So things didn't go out very well during TheoFun. The test papers were given and I got lucky. A grade of 97 is quite satisfying. But to tell you the truth, I was kinda dissapointed after taking the test in TheoFun. The test was way too easy!!! I worked my freakin ass off so that I can fully understand that subject. Every single sentence that I've memorized weren't even included in the test. So much for the late night cramming! Hmp!Well, I'd rather not talk about it.

FiliOne time! Well it wasn't that bad. My involvement in the singing contest paid off because our teacher generously gave the participants an additional 5% in the midterm exams. My grades were pulled to a 96. I was really happy. Just last week, I was so dissapointed after taking the exam. The test was way too difficult. I felt that all those times that I was answering that godforsaken test, I was only relying on pure luck. I worked my ass off the night before the test just so I can finish the lessons in FiliOne which is two inches thick!! Quite exaggerated? Hell no! I wish I was kidding when I said that. But I really thought that I was doomed in Filipino. Hey, maybe I can get a job as a fortuneteller. Ang galing ko palang manghula! Haha..

The day drifted by. OK naman somehow. Alam mo yun. The feeling just disappeared because it was covered by all the laughing and the noise.

Word of the day: nojiko no misuki (the name of the food I ate at lunch today).

Come CWTS time..it's my last subject of the day. Well, I don't really consider it as a subjects nowadays. Why? Let's just say I really don't get it. All we study at this course is time management, how to be effective individuals, having a good self-image, patriotism, blah, blah, blah, fret, fret, fret...YAWN... I don't get it! Why do we have to study those things anyway. Like for example, having a good self-image. We discussed the topic for like 3 hours straight! I was already fighting the urge to sleep. The thing is, self-image is not something that you have to learn from your professor in a classroom setting. It's something that is not supposed to be imposed in the minds of students. You are the only person on earth who can mold your own self image.

Dismissal time. Wala na. Space. Out.

On the way home, I received a text message from HIM. I read it. Pause. Pause. Pause.

It took me a minute to process the message completely. It was open-ended..putol ung message nya. Anu yun, fill in the blanks??

I am anxious. What could this be about?

^^^

On the contrary though. I know what I'm feeling. But I don't know for certain why I'm feeling that way.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm confused. I am hurt.

I'm confused. And really hurt.

I'm scared because this whole thing that I'm dealing with may never end. May never have a period. Puro comma. Walang period. Kahit exclamation point tatanggapin ko.

And then the other thing. If I leave, the feeling follows me. When I'm there, I lose all interest.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Grabe.

Is there no way to hide how I feel? Or no way to show how I feel? Why can't I release this feeling(whatever it is!). My life used to be an open book (well, that way way too long ago). Now, I'm nothing but a secretive wreck.

We are free in this world.

But hell man. I don't even know what I'm doing with my freedom.

Too much happened. Time to go. Time to move on. Pero ang hirap eh. You can't work on things alone.

That's it. I need farrreaking closure. But not to end things completely. Just to begin a fresh new chapter

YOU NEED TO PUT THE DOT IN THIS PARAGRAPH-LONG SENTENCE!